Suddenly I just became interested with the phrase, “Engaged Contemplation.” The Buddhist Joan Halifax talked about “Compassion and the true meaning of empathy” at Ted.com. Her talk caught my attention. I don’t have any plan to change my religion to Buddhism but the way how she explained compassion explains my passion in starting to practice Zen. Halifax’s talk was not all about Zen, but Compassion.

As a religious brother who is engaged into active ministry, I believe that I can still practice my chosen way of life while practicing zen. At least, I’m giving effort on how to start it. But where? When? The congregation’s life is an active-contemplative way of life. But now, I would like to re-define it, just for me, as engaged-contemplation. I stay engaged with the young least-favored while contemplating the presence of God in every experiences.

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When will I say it’s time to have a break?

But I don’t think it’s a game. I feel it; anxious as I am, I don’t really get the point. Just thinking more deeper and deeper these past few days. I mentioned about my schedules last time but seems it’s not just the one I’m thinking about. 

And so I ask myself, “Am I losing my balance now…? I hope not!” I can still go back and start again… Oh thoughts… I want silence now…

As many life gurus would say, “Live life at the moment!” Indeed, they’re saying that life must be enjoyed, let go of worries and anxieties, and enjoy the present. But for me, though I believe that living at the present moment is essential, it becomes difficult when I see the difficulties face to face. That’s reality. I tend to tremble and then panic.

But it’s the fact that I am at the point of confusion. Let me think about it; maybe one difficulty at a time… Thanks for reading…