It was October of 2005 when I started to write a blog. Unknown to me what is the standard defination of blog, I just started to write whatever I wanted to write that comes to my mind. It’s been a year that I always changed my blog address for many reasons. Now that I finally understand what does it mean to blog, I finally decided to collect once again all the thoughts I had since I started.

The first weblog I had was entilted “Skeptic*” which means, “a person who questions the validity or authenticity of something purporting to be factual.” It was powered by Calliope. The first article “Invitation” is a reprint from an unknown paper that I just copied and posted as my first item. This was followed by my original compostion about my own understanding of my own Vows of Obedience, on how I live it as part of my daily ramblings that somehow affects my Growth of Fatih in the life I have chosen to follow. Part of my experience here in Manila is being invited to attend a National Convention of all Religious Brothers from the whole country. I was Looking forward to it. In many instances, I had always a feeling of being happy and sometimes, I caught myself thinking, giving reason to my simple joy, I’m Thinking Aloud. As part of my blogging, somebody asked about myself but somehow I can’t just tell my identity as a Brother unless I introduce first my own congregation. I wrote about us The Brothers. finally, I reached the final end of 2005 and celebrated my first Christmas here in Manila. And part of our activity was a recollection. I blogged my Year-end Recolection in an analogy: The Empty jar, that represents myself at the end of 2005. Two days after that was the foundation day of our Institute/congregation and I made the Introduction as I was tasked as a Commentator during the thanksgiving Day. For three months, I blogged with Skeptic’s.

Unsatisfied of my first weblog and I decided to study the basic way of blogging yet I considered myself as unfortunate in terms of studying new things especially that I was preoccupied of my studies and I was in transition from rural to urban setting. I just came from a “silent” place and came here to expose myself and be challenged in an outside world. But the availability of internet gave me a lot of opportunities. 24 hours of broadband connection and computer gave me the idea to make use of it to according to what is right and helpful to me. Once again, I was motivated to try again but with Blogger while I was still blogging with Calliope on that same year 2005, December. Not being to far from the first idea, I gave a second blog a title called Touchstones, (polisher)I just added “minds” that always remind me of being a thinker according to the result of my enneagram test as typical number 5 since when I was still a novice. I reposted the first article I had from my previous blog, Skeptic; the first article I had. I wrote an article about the success of the Global Visionaries, a group of young professionals from Metro Manila and abroad, who gathered themselves through Filipino Friend Finder. I became part of the group and was able to convince them to visit my own area of Apostolate, working with the children in a settlement area in Marikina City. Indeed it was a Christmas celebration with the kids that made us happy and with the children as well. Another article was about Going to Heaven. It was a cracked joke, a conversation between an adult an children on how we reach heaven. The kid was right that left the adult wonder how to reach heaven in a real sense. Next article was about Saying Yes - about the meaning of our lives in terms of commitment and self surrender. Once again, As I stated above, during the month of December, I gradually moved to Blogger, and again I reposted my Year-end Recollection Reflection. Sometimes, my life is not always at top, and there were instances of being down. I was given my my spiritual director a formula prayer of discernment and I posted it, too. This was followed with some feelings of Agony and left me thinking, being provoked and finally, I was able to determine why, because of a departure of a close friend of mine. After some experiences of feeling down, there were events that made me feeling up, too. That was the day of Consecration; once again. And there was silence. I even posted my abstract drawing using a pastel and oslo as my medium, it depicted how abstract life is sometimes, actually it was all about me. Indeed life is just like a cycle, when melancholy and serenity come then followed by renewed experiences where realization comes that God is always present; Life’s color. As I continued blogging, I also reflected about being a light to others. Somehow, my blogging was getting clearer to me, why do I blog and how useful it is to blog. It was becoming a purpose of sharing what I have, the experienceswith the kids, with my self and with others by letting God works in all things. I started to write about what are related to my formation, about what I have learned about the spirituality of living, how joyful it is to live in spite of pain sometimes, they give meaning actually. These made me sings and inspired to post lyrics of singers like Kym. One of my experiences in my apostolate affected me and it questioned who I am to the kids, and yet it became a challenge for me to look at my own self as a Brother, though this gives me inspiration sometimes. Before I shifted to WordPress. I was still able to post my own reflection about my sexuality and my struggle listening to my Theology teacher
about the experience of Wilderness in our lives.

I stopped blogging for a while and made infrequent visits but I felt the need of expressing myself in a way that I will enjoy and I thought, I found it by using WP. So I started blogging again. Month of September and still gradually ending my WP blogging this November.

• Draw it Kid – looking forward to Christmas.
• In the Wilderness – a reposted blog.
• Responsibility - it’s all about manual work.
• Vanity of Vanities – of being bored with assignments in the class.
• Baguio or Batangas – deciding where would be our Semestral outing.
• Giving Flesh – about bringing God to others.
• Lampa - was just playing like a fool
• This is Clement – featuring my Brother.
• Resolved - I resolved my Sunday as a new and good beginning.
• Body, mind and Spirit – and its relation to Sex.
• Meaning of Suffering – and its reality.
• a Bro - “wala lang.”
• Lonely Christmas – maybe.
• Practicing Safe Celibacy – my book review.
• Things I miss this time – just reminiscing.
• Sufferings - just a second part .
• Gone with Hope – in memory of my deceased classmate nun.
• My love Story - a funny thing that I was able to relate with.
• Patay - Milenyo’s effect to our community.
• Too Fast – my life is very fast.
• Decisions - is it for life?
• my Unfinished Business
• my Random Flashbacks
• Loving as One – my drawing.
• Yesterday - parang kelan lang.
• Next Season – it’s not the Open Season the Movie, it’s more personal.
• Dance with my Father – a tribute to my father who died three years ago..
• My Guardian Angel – a feast of Angels.
• Walang Kwenta… – just kalabuan.
• Forgiveness - one of my unfinished business.
• My Sembreak Theology – looking forward.
• 711 - just hits and was happy about it.
• Mary in the History – about a woman.
• Korean Thanksgiving day
  
• Friday Sickness – sleepy.
• Tom - about our chaste and celibate cats trying to live heir way of life here.
• Where - a prayer.
• Children’s and Fatherhood – in connection with what I do and who I am.
• Love of Work – a good character.
• How I was convinced - my vocation story and my “paglalayas.”
• Tapos na – tapos na ang assignments.
• Great thing – no work today.
• Male Restroom etiquette
• How About the Mothers – another story of women.
• Ritual of Farewell – paalam sa brothers ko.
• Rest - ahh, sacred laziness, I long for this.
• Blogging from Ateneo – an appointment.
• Swimming - life’s ocean, and how did I learn to dive.
• Kickboard and Pain – another swimming lesson.
• Favorites, mosts and bests - tagged.
• Kaylangan pa bang i-memorize yan?
• Eid Al Fitr - missing Mindanao; and will be back soon!
• New Blogsite – I’m coming back with recedo.blogspot.com
• Loser - just nothing.
• Enjoying - my new blogsite.

These were the blogs I have posted with WP. Thanks to WP for the experience of blogging and being with the community of bloggers. As of now, I’m still blogging but with Blogger: Recedo (L): I retreat…; it’s being at Blogger once again. Thanks to the frequent visitors and readers who shared their comments with me, reacting and clarifying things, blogging with me. I salute you all; you came first before me.

Definitions from Dictionary.Com
Skeptic - a person who questions the validity or authenticity of something purporting to be factual.
Touchstone
s - A hard black stone, such as jasper or basalt, formerly used to test the quality of gold or silver by comparing the streak left on the stone by one of these metals with that of a standard alloy.

The next day was started with morning Eucharist and meal. Then, lumabas na kami and the first place we visited ay ang Mines view park. Nakabili ako doon ng mga abubot at simpling bag for my daily academic life daw. We also visited the Mansion, Botanical Graden and Camp John Hay. Di nga pala ako talaga nakapasok sa The Mansion, off limit daw, or maybe because my mga kasama akong gorilya? hahaha! We took a lot of pictures for souvenirs, baka yun ang una at huli kong pagpunta ng Baguio. But whats in mind? I would like to spend my 40 days retreat sa Baguio when time comes for me to perpetually profess my vows. During our last night, I was able to give a vocation talk with the youth from Pasig who stayed with us. It was good to know na mga anak pala sila ng mga lay ministers and pastors ng different simbahan sa Pasig.

“In between moments…. then during the third and fourth day…KAMALASAN…”

Despite na binagyo ang outing namin, we were able to transcend our motivation to be there; not only to have an outing but to have a recollection, kaya we stayed inside the retreat house noong kasagsagan ng bagyong si Paeng. Sino ba ang tinakot ni Paeng, I told ate Sash tibay talaga. We left Baguio coming back to Manila at around half past nine already, medyo maganda na ang panahon. Ang di maganda? we reached Urdaneta City and being trapped in the traffic na super sa magkahaba-haba. For 1 hour, were able to scape the 5-kilometer long que of diffrent sizes of vehicles. The heavy traffic was caused by a road construction that also caused road flood. I was starting to feel upset and was fidgeting already. I was more annoyed when I learned that we were heading anew way back to Manila, and will not be passing by NLEX anymore. The driver and the backseat drivers planned it all. Nadagdagan ang inis ko when we had our late lunch sa boundary na ng Tarlac and Pangasinan. After few hours, were still travelling in a provincial road unknown to me. Half past five, I was terrified with the near death accident siguro na nga yun, sa baliwag na yun. A Victory Liner bus was running too fast in the highway when the side mirror of our vehicle was hit! I was in that very side of the vehicle and if the driver was not alert o brake, Im dead, or all of us. Ok, it was our fault, aaminin ko sa pulis kung sakali man. Medyo tanga kasi ang unggoy na kasama ko, may dalawa pang back seat driver na daldal ng daldal at kung saan ang tinuturong daan. By the way, it was our first time to pass by that way, too. Another funny yet irritating na nangyari? Lumabas ba kami ng Baliwag to take NLEX, and after running for more or less 6 kilometers in a speed of 70 kph, napansin namin na we were heading to Pampanga, anak talaga ng pating, oo! Nasigawan ko tuloy ang mga nasa frontseat in tagalog, “angtatanga n’yo!” Lumabas ang aking pagka-istupido at pagka-ipokrito. After passing by few toll gates, nakita na rin namin ang daan. Naiihi na talaga ako that time. Luckily, I had my mineral water with me, itinapon ko ang laman and presto! Doon na ako dyuminggel…. success! 10 hours kami sa kalsada, byahe yun sa pag-uwi. Dumaan kami ng Cubao at kumain sa Dampa, sa Gateway. Di na ako umimik sa inis at pagod while our superior (driver
) was really trying to lift my spirit up! Beskwet talaga ang nangyari sa araw ng pag-uwi namin. At ang isang tange pa na bursar, bumili ng pagkarami-raming seafood! hayun at kinulang ang budget, tapal vulcaseal ginawa nya para makauwi na kami, sinamahan pa kasi ng isang barrel ng beer, ala-lasenggero ang labas nila, di naman ako uminom, bumawi na ang ako ng dalawang large size cup of tea, hehehe, Di ho ako nagpahuli. At last and in short, nakauwi kami, and was able to be in my bed at around 1o p.m…..anghaba ng araw…pagod and had a headache caused by different experiences I had…