One example of experience of aloneness I can give is being in relationship with God in contemplation at all times. I was taught that every individual longs to be in a higher state, and that state is not necessarily to be an ecstatic life but having a simple joy in the heart that also gives meaning in life. Childhood stage is a “self-centered” world, followed by an adult’s “seeking-others” relationship; but more than that, there is a self, seeking for a greater realm of life: transcendence. Moreover, we were taught that longing for God alone and having an intimate relationship with God is through aloneness. Aloneness is a state of life with honesty, faithfulness, and simplicity… is already a God-seeking life without human mediation. I don’t see it as an individualistic attitude of a person who vowed to be alone in life for it is also a life that seeks transcendence through other people since aloneness is an inner structure of life. But unlike married people who share a mutual relationship with each other, and which is a very common state of life, a celibate person responds to the immediate call to be at the liminal, who lives at the edge of the society. Although everybody is called to a holy life, being a religious is linked to every community where he or she belongs. Through other people, aloneness is more appreciated for what it is rather than what it does. This is a new insight for me.
In the blogging community and circle of friends, I find hard times to explain the state of life I am engaged with since being a religious brother who vowed not to marry and possesses property is a vague idea for many who do not understand what a “religious” means. But being part of the society, aloneness is giving a contrast and let the curious people seek what it means to be alone yet happy and lesser hang ups in life. While the technology is getting complicated and makes life easier, there is also a difficulty at the same time to live a simple and joyful life. Many of the youth today according to a survey about how happy and contended the new generations, are having much questions even in terms of relationship and identity. The world is getting more noisy, in and out of every individual. Yet being in the state of life that seeks for God without human interventions, the monks, nuns and people who vowed to be religious more or less, finds consolation to their experiences with the transcendent as they constantly seek for their significance in the community in the world, not separated from the local communities where they belong. One moment of aloneness with the Lord I have at this moment is sitting in contentment in the balcony while sipping a mug of tea, contemplating the end of the day, giving thanks for all the experiences I had today.
A Reflection of a Consecrated Brother
It is seems to be a difficult question for me if I try to understand what it really means. It is simply answered as, we need to get up to do our duties for the day by starting it with morning prayer and at the end of the day, we end by evening prayer, and the next day, we get up again. A routine. But I am sure that it means something about the existence of religious life in the modern contemporary time and its future.
When I was still in the novitiate, I learned that a religious congregation needs to evolve with time so that it will not die or being left behind. There is a cycle that sometimes, it is able to cope with the challenges of time and sometimes, questions the effectiveness of the charism which the founder adopted to answer the needs of his time. I have read couple of books about my own congregation from the start of its existence up to the latest circular of our Superior General and I found out that there are so many changes happened in the whole institute as time passes by. Soon as the Brothers started to become a congregation, they taught small schools in rural areas but these days, a lot of lay mission partners are being involved with the brothers’ works in big schools whether in rural or urban places and in mission places, as well. But the existence of religious life is still there as it is founded strongly and willingly evolved with time without losing its own charism. The Brothers still gather together as a sacred community and sustained its existence.
For me, re-envisioning religious life itself is important to every congregation as they locate themselves in the midst of new changes in the society, its structure and its needs. The challenge to evaluate the dreams of the founder and the first community is there, whether there is a dynamism and consciousness for the modern time. Attentiveness is needed and not only by sending missions. Even before I joined the formation, I asked myself of what would be my role in my own institute, and what can I share to my own community as I longed to live the religious life. It looked like, two sides or parts of me. Me, inside the congregation and me, outside the congregation. Inside the congregation, I am part of the intentional community that longed to pray together, work together and be with together. Outside the congregation, I am part of the whole church as I willingly vowed publicly to serve others. But the question I am trying to answer is, “As the Church continue to move on with time, up to what extent can I see myself in the religious life living my vows faithfully?” It is still the happiness to get up in the morning sharing the faith with the whole Church in the light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Yesterday afternoon, I was called by the Rector to report in his office, and obediently I went and asked him what it was all about. He asked me about a responsibility of a moderator and what is moderatorship. I answered him that it is a tough responsibility and a very challenging one. Then I paused and asked, “Are you really asking me about moderatorship or something? We had our secret election the other day and I guessed what he meant: that I am consulted to take the office as a moderator for Chanel Fraternity.
Our fraternity is compose of 12 brothers including the animator superior, and next to his office/position is the moderator followed by a bursar/treasurer procurator. I’ve been into bursarship and t’was pretty tough! Procuring the different needs of the brothers in the fraternity is confusing, and that differ mostly because of different cultures; from India of Asia as far as Kiribati in Pacific.
He told me that he was really consulting me for that post but I quickly declined and will not become the moderator of my fraternity. I’m experiencing the difficulty with my relationship with a brother in my own house and have to settle and process it for a while in my own way, one of the reasons why I’m hesitant to become one. Then he started persuading me. I was chosen by secret election and that means I am trusted by the other members, and they believe that I have the capacity to gather and have the leadership skills needed by a moderator. Still, I was not convinced. “Am I the first choice? I asked. he said, “Yes” So I asked for an overnight to discern well about it. I prayed over it and reflected about my own capacity and giftedness.
I asked ate Sash and quickly she said, “No, don’t accept it” I laughed and told her that she may not understand what it means to be one. So the night passed by smoothly…
The next day, Friday, I organized the afternoon manual work as part of my present responsibility as one of the councilors of our whole community. It’s another resposbility which is higher than the moderator actually, since it is for the whole community. In the middle of the work, I was called again by the Rector (I was trying to avoid him but he looked for me). He was waiting for my decision I promised to give him today. After a long silence I said, “Yes, I accept the responsibility to be in the service of my brothers. Though I’m hesitant, I am considering it.”
It’s more than playing a game, it’s more than my plans but it is all about service. It has advantages in my formation. Difficult it is but how about the mutual trust. They trusted me, therefore I also trust them, that we can make a better and united fraternity from the diversity.
This is my family. We are all 12 including our animator (fraternity Superior). We came from 8 different countries; Samoa, Papua New Guinea, India, Korea, Kiribati, Pakistan, Solomon Islands, and Philippines…
One example of experience of aloneness I can give is being in relationship with God in contemplation at all times. I was taught that every individual longs to be in a higher state, and that state is not necessarily to be an ecstatic life but having a simple joy in the heart that also gives meaning in life. Childhood stage is a “self-centered” world, followed by an adult’s “seeking-others” relationship; but more than that, there is a self, seeking for a greater realm of life: transcendence. Moreover, we were taught that longing for God alone and having an intimate relationship with God is through aloneness. Aloneness is a state of life with honesty, faithfulness, and simplicity… is already a God-seeking life without human mediation. I don’t see it as an individualistic attitude of a person who vowed to be alone in life for it is also a life that seeks transcendence through other people since aloneness is an inner structure of life. But unlike married people who share a mutual relationship with each other, and which is a very common state of life, a celibate person responds to the immediate call to be at the liminal, who lives at the edge of the society. Although everybody is called to a holy life, being a religious is linked to every community where he or she belongs. Through other people, aloneness is more appreciated for what it is rather than what it does. This is a new insight for me.
