The Itinerants Path

At the age of 26, I tend to be responsible for other people especially the children. This made me reflect on “generativity.” This is significant to the life I chose, that I am concerned and committed to promote others’ well-being. As a young man who continually long for self-fulfillment, I feel responsible not only of myself but also of others. This is what struck me: As young religious brother who doesn’t marry, yet generative and creative. In many ways as a religious, “to be parent” is for real, “to beget” is true.

At this stage of my life, I find myself in a wider perspective of our congregation’s dream. I share with the dream of the whole institute. Yet looking deep inside, I have dreams also to fulfill, for others, this time. I feel I’m growing old and I tend to look for my accomplishments, for legacy I can say, I was responsible for somebody. I’ve not reach the middle age yet, but the formation is giving me the eyes to see how my older brothers see the wisdom of being generative and creative in their lifestyles. One instance that gave me idea of reconsidering the life I have now was the encounter with this three-year old girl. It happened in my apostolate one day with children when I heard her asking her young mother if I’m her father and why I was kind to her. I was mistaken to be her father. That made me silent for a moment and asked myself if I was acting like one to her. Learning that her father is in jail since her birthday, (And still be in jail for another ten years) I pity the child and her young mother. I felt concerned. I was becoming a parent. I taught her more with passion on how to hold her pencil, how to write and even read from that time on. That was the assigned apostolate and I am ready to give it up when I am called for other assignment.

With that experience, I started to look at myself more maturely, with lots of expectations and dreams. Though I still felt a young man’s way of looking at the world; youthful whims and naughtiness as a man. I am challenged more with my relationship with other people, even with children. My mind was reactive or even denying that I can be a father-figure to this child and I was insisting that I’m a religious brother, vowed and committed. I was sad but the idea of “non-biological father” to her can be a good chance for me to express my self to that situation. On the other hand, I was happy of my experience, I became a father. But it doesn’t end there, I am becoming aware of what is intimacy.

The old paradigm is holding me about being “vowed and committed,” which is not the real essence of the call I feel this time. Changes happened and are still happening. My vows doesn’t speak now about being bounded and my commitment being limited but being unlimited

Being generative is a responsibility. It is an engagement (challenge) for me. Maybe God is calling me to be more creative with my relationship in order to attain our congregational dream and to fulfill my own generativity. It is also breaking away from my old paradigm on how do I relate with other people, to be more intimate, giving time for others. I’m a new product of formation but somehow still trapped in old ways of being a religious. Giving time for myself and others by being spontaneous and sensitive will help me more attuned to the calling of everyday life as a brother. I may have shown a father image to the young girl, but that experience needs further step for her to experience a good life and not forsaking her own biological father. But instead, appreciate that there is life being shared to her. Being faithful to God’s will and being keen to his words, I will be assured of being useful, not for my own fulfillment but of his Kingdom

On this day..

• Listening to the Parents - 2009