It’s been nine years since the first time I learned how to dive independently in a body of water; it was in the sea, with a trusted mentor that time. And today, the best thing that’s happening again? I’m learning how to swim again, on the surface of the water, at least. Another opportunity to learn is given to me, I’m happy for this. I was taught how to dive before, but not to swim, there’s a difference… I can still remember how I was told to dive and so I did! But what I learned was not enough. I was 16 years old that time, was unfortunate, was vulnerable and innocent, thus was just following the tide of life as an adolescent; confused, blacksheep, hardheaded, freedom fighter, wants independence, misunderstood, abused, used. I was taught how to dive, and that’s life, to dive in the ocean of life; i was scared but I did! Yet, was not able to learn quickly how to swim smoothly and freely. I was left in the middle of the sea, just like, I didn’t learn more when I was left by this mentor, those were passing days when we were together; a student and a trusted friend. I learned how to move on by my own initiative and ambition with determination that I can still learn, it was a crying moment, last crying moments. And so I did. I learned and saw how was the life treating me. I found the place where I can plunge myself freely, with a trusting heart and hopeful that it would be eternal. This is where I am. Today, literally I’m learning to swim again and yet my reflection soars high that I can still remember the frustration I had in my younger years. I was sad, confused, was left alone to dive and nearly drowned. In the shore, I found myself lying naked, tired, gasping and half dead. But now that I learned how to swim in life though starting to learn how to swim literally, I am happy, that I learned and still learning in the school of life. Ah, past; past is past, but still part of mine, a starting point, a diving board, to do a somersault, that this mentor would know, that I learned.

The time has come for the brothers to leave our community. Indeed, a farewell party is a time to reminisce our experiences as brothers once more. It was a moment full of mixed feelings; happy, sad, excitement, gratitude. Pretty sure, will miss the times we’ve been together. For two years of companionship in times of difficulties, struggles and genuine brotherhood, who can forget the community life we had? Ces’t la vie, may God bless you in your new mission. As my gratitude, here’s the theme song of past Olympic Game, which we sang last night as our departing song. Below is the clip music. It’s for all 12 of you.

I don’t have to say, A word to you
You seem to know , Whatever mood
I’m going through, Feels as though
I’ve known you forever

You can look into my eyes and see
The way I feel , And how the world is treating me
Maybe I have known you forever

Amigos para siempre , Means you’ll always be my friend
Amics per sempre , Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life , Not just a summer or a spring. Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me , Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world , Can warm my heart
Friends for life , Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

We share memories , I won’t forget
And we’ll share more, My friend,
We haven’t started yet, Something happens
When we’re together

When I look at you ,I wonder why
There has to come ,A time when we must say goodbye
I’m alive when we are together

When I look at you I wonder why
There has to come A time when we must say goodbye

I’m alive when we are together

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqedK08FXME ]

Twice I reflected, wrote and dedicated a song for my father but never mentioned about my mother except about Mary, the mother of Jesus, a typical Jew, a faithful, simple, humble and modest woman of her time. I am impelled to write about my own mother when I found that a mother, who is trying to balance her motherhood, being a wife and a student, was able to come across my reflections.

Maybe it’s one of my difficulties to express my views about my mother; maybe because she is still alive. I admire those people who can always talk with their mothers as friends, as listeners full of wisdom for their kids. My mother was a woman who always looked after our needs as kids. We are only two siblings and I can’t remember that we became burden for her. Except one experience with her that I felt guilty of making her cried. One morning, I was mixing my coffee with milk and I looked for sugar and found none. In her presence, I poured the mug of milk in the sink and she started crying silently and talked how she labored to buy our needs and yet I just poured it. How pity I was that I was not able to recognize her love for me quickly. That experience I had, taught me a lesson to respect her and adore her motherhood. Of course I was unaware how she labored in giving birth to give me chance to live through her nine months of pregnancy. Yet that was another time when mixed feeling dominated her; great joy of having me as her first child and sadness for not knowing what future I can have in this world. She’s been there guiding me and taking care of me, how fortunate I am. Maybe this reflection is focused with greetfulness not only to her but also to all mothers who experienced the same, or maybe to the children who experienced same things like mine, during those times we neglected our mothers or not even recognized their simple presence, when they tried to understand us as kids, who seems unaware of the world’s messages for us.

Today in the Gospel, one of the verses talks about honoring the father and the mother as one of the greatest commandment. And this again reminded me about my mother. Yet on other side, I also feel sad for some mothers who unknowingly abuse their children physically and so on. When I was still in one of the settlement areas here in Metro Manila, I witnessed how a mother spanked her two-year old daughter, she is the same child who asked her mother if I’m her father. I’m sure, it’s not the only case I may encounter in the future, I just need to open eyes to the reality of families especially to those families who unconciously promote violence in many little ways. I believe in discipline, but on how a child is disciplined matters most. As Saint Marcellin says, “In order to teach a child, you must first love him or her.” That’s a challenge then…

With this reflection, I am also amused with Kim’s simple theological reflection how every individual becomes a mother ; and I’m not exempted to beome amother! True, he was speaking in our Theology class about motherhood, of giving birth to the presence of Christ to other people, giving flesh once again, the Christ in us. Jesus said, “Do this in memory of me” and I understand it as, life lived, broken and shared, like Jesus’. And that’s how a person of faith can give birth to Jesus. More about this next time.

Great thing happened today….? Senior’s graduation is finished, and no more preparations until next October After the affair, I drank “yanguna” or “kava”; dont really know the term but it’s a powdered root of a certain tree that can only be found in the Pacific; anesthesia effect it was!. Wow! I felt sleepy and my body was numb, and was able to take a nap for 30 minutes straight, what a good nap I had…. And that’s the best thng happened today : a good rest after a tiring day! Ahhh, one more thing…early sleep tonight and a late waking time tomorrow…. Thanks God.